"Do you have cheese in England?"

Today I was back in school, only 3 of my 4 lessons turned out to be either cancelled or 'Vertretung' (cover lessons) - grr. It would be nice to be told some of this information rather than solving the mysteries myself!

For one of the cover lessons I was spontaneously landed with about ten 10/11 year olds who had already finished their work. Apparently I was to go to the library and talk with them for the entire lesson. Don't you love teachers who solve their problems by just handing them over to you? Challenge one - I had no idea where the libary was. That hurdle overcome I was then greeted by the librarian who had no idea who I was and proceeded to babble at me auf Deutsch. Sadly I didn't catch most of what she said, but was surrounded by kids who had understood every word and probably thought I was completely stupid. Ah well. Once I had finally comprehended what she was saying, and most of my group had started to run off, it was time for challenge two - what on earth to talk to them about. I had no planning, no textbook, and no idea what they had already learnt in English. Also turned out that they don't know the future or past tenses yet... half an hour just using the simple present then?!

Anyway, a couple of highlights of our 'conversation':

Boy 1: "Do you have cheese in England?"
Boy 2: "He asks because he had nice cheese in France."

The inevitable "Do you have a boyfriend?" question.

I'm not sure if he was trying to console me, but one of the kids then proceeded to say auf Deutsch: 'No that's okay because my aunt is 30 and doesn't have a boyfriend, but I also know some people who got married and they were 20'. So I asked him how old he wanted to be when he got married. Answer: "Never!"

Me: 'Would you like to have a King or Queen in Germany?'
Answer: 'No! We have a democracy.'

So that's Geography and Politics that need addressing then! Apparently when they returned to the classroom they were very enthusiastic, if only it were for the right reasons... Kids, eh?